How to Find Your Personal Style: A Step-by-Step Guide

For a very long time, I felt totally lost when it came to my own personal style. Between having my first kid (which came with huge body changes) and then spending years working from home during the pandemic, I completely stopped paying much attention to what I wore.

My own wardrobe felt random, uninspired, and full of things I didn’t actually love. I wasn’t a complete fashion newbie—I’ve always appreciated a great outfit—but I didn’t feel like I had a signature style that truly felt like me.

One of my favorite content creators, Meg Hall, once said something to the effect of she wants her closet to “feel like her favorite boutique where she loves everything in it” and that has stuck with me as I narrow in on my own personal style.

Fast forward to now, and I finally feel like I’ve found my way back. And let me tell you, getting dressed is so much more fun when you actually like what’s in your own closet!

I’m sharing everything that helped me rediscover my unique personal style, so whether you’re going through a life transition, moving to a different city and want a new look, or just feel like your fashion sense is all over the place, this guide is for you.

Step 1: Stop Shopping & Take Inventory

One of the best ways I found my true personal style was by pressing pause on shopping. Before I could bring in new pieces, I needed to sit with what I already had. I did a massive closet edit, splitting my current wardrobe into three piles:

• Yes: Things I loved, wore often, and felt great in

• No: Items I never reached for, didn’t fit, or didn’t match my evolving style

• Maybe: Pieces I wasn’t sure about but wanted to test out… A lot of the pieces ended up going to friends because they weren’t a “fit” but I wanted to see them have another life!

This was a great way to see common themes in my wardrobe and get rid of impulse purchases and clutter. Plus, once I had fewer things, staying on top of laundry actually became doable!

Step 2: Define Your 3 Words

A huge breakthrough for me was discovering Alison Bornstein’s "3-Word Method" for personal style. The idea is simple: You pick three words that define how you want to dress. Mine? Classic, casual, sexy.

Your words should reflect your own sense of style and the vibe you want to give off. I highly recommend watching her videos and reading more about her method to get a better understanding. If you’re stuck, ask a best friend or look for style inspiration from your personal style icons.

Once you have your words, they become a great place to start filtering fashion choices—whether you're shopping, styling outfits, or building a mood board.

Shop my wardrobe Staples

Step 3: Create a Pinterest Board

I cannot stress enough how helpful Pinterest boards are in refining your fashion journey. But here’s the key: instead of pinning every cute outfit you see, use your 3 words as a starting point. Look for images that match your vibe and create a collection of outfit ideas that actually fit your lifestyle.

This method makes it much easier to sift through the endless sea of fashion blogs and style content online without feeling overwhelmed.

Step 4: Pay Attention to Fit & Fabrics

After editing my closet and defining my words, I started noticing patterns in what I loved. I realized I feel best in high-quality pieces made from natural fibers… obviously I’m not trashing half my closet because it doesn’t all align with that, but it’s something I try to look out for when buying new pieces. I also learned that certain fits and silhouettes just don’t work for me, no matter how trendy they are, and that’s okay.

Understanding your body type and body shape can help you identify what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Don’t worry about the latest trend—focus on what actually works for you!

Step 5: Accessories Matter (Even If You Keep It Simple)

For years, I stuck to minimal jewelry—diamond studs or a gold hoop—and could never quite make statement jewelry feel like “me.” Then, I discovered that it wasn’t statement jewelry I disliked—it was just that I preferred polished gold over anything else.

Sometimes, the small finishing touches make the biggest difference. Finding your go-to accessories can help pull your personal fashion style together effortlessly.

Step 6: Make Sure Your Style Fits Your Daily Life

This was a game-changer for me. I once heard someone say that we spend a lot of time thinking about dressing for special occasions but not enough time considering what we actually wear every day.

If your daily life consists of chasing kids, commuting, or working from home, your own personal style should reflect that. Great style isn’t just about dressing up—it’s about looking and feeling good in the clothes you wear most often.

Step 7: Be Ruthless About Returns

One of the biggest shifts in my fashion choices was getting strict about returns. For years, I kept items I didn’t love simply because I missed the return window. Now, if I don’t absolutely love a piece of clothing, it goes back. Immediately.

This approach has helped me test out different styles while ensuring my wardrobe stays intentional and curated.

Step 8: Build a Wardrobe You Love

The goal isn’t to have an overflowing closet—it’s to have a collection of timeless pieces that make you feel amazing. 

Some people love a capsule wardrobe, while others prefer more variety. Either way, keeping your closet manageable (around 200 pieces, as suggested in Anna Newton’s Substack -- highly recommend if you’re on a style journey!) makes it easier to maintain and actually enjoy your clothes.

Your Personal Style, Your Rules

At the end of the day, finding your personal style is about feeling confident in what you wear. It’s not about following every trend or copying what works for someone else—it’s about discovering what works for YOU.

So, whether you’re drawn to bright colors or a neutral color palette, love classic style or prefer a more eclectic mix, the only way to develop your unique identity through fashion is to experiment, edit, and trust your instincts.

Good luck on your style journey—I promise, getting dressed gets SO much more fun when you love what’s in your closet!

This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase something using my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.

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